Cancer-bits: Hospice

Hospice - Wonderful Program / Total Mind-F*ck

We found out one week ago today that Mom's cancer has grown dramatically in her lungs and is now in her spleen too. The two doctors I saw that week both said "it's going fast". Hard to wrap your mind around that! What is fast? A day, a week, a year?? The oncologist thought 2 to 6 months. She guessed that within a few weeks Mom would start coughing blood and have a harder time breathing. It only took a few days. By Saturday Mom starting coughing up stuff.

I got my Mom enrolled in a home hospice program this week. On Monday, Yvonne (primary hospice nurse) and Karilyn (social worker) came out to meet us and get the paperwork signed. It was surreal, to say the least.

There was a lot of discussion about the hospice philosophy. This is from their website:

"Hospice care does not prolong the life of terminally ill patients, but helps them live with comfort and dignity, surrounded by family and friends and supported by hospice team members at the hospital or at home."

I have to say that the more they talked, the better I felt, up to a point. It's such a relief to know that twice a week someone will be coming to check on her and determine what other things she may need such as oxygen, pain meds, special equipment, etc. Because it's extremely frightening to me that I might not see a sign or a symptom and do the right thing.

They also have music and massage therapy that will come out each week and my Mom thought that would be nice. I'm always so proud of my Mom because she is open to all new possibilities and will try things. She still participates in all the activities at the apartment building (assisted living). As a matter of fact, after this meeting she kicked me out so she could go play bingo. How cool is that?

So, now to the mind-f*ck -- the nurse asked my Mom if she wanted to keep taking her vitamins and other supplements. My Mom has been a health-nut for as long as I can remember. She walked 3 miles a day, took LOADS of supplements, drank buckets of water, etc. So when they said she could stop taking those things that she depends on (mentally, at least) to stay well, it all sunk in a lot more that we were off the old path of "getting better" or "staying healthy". Mom and I were both flummoxed by the question. She couldn't decide and I wouldn't decide for her. Today Yvonne asked us about it again and we put it off again. After she left Mom said she'd take the supplements until the nurse runs out of them. I simply agreed that that was the way to do it even though I know there is no longer a reason for her to take them at all. That makes my stomach hurt to even type it...