Groovy Purple Hide-A-Bed

Japan man discovers woman living in his closet

2008-05-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

Yup, you read that correctly. Japan man discovers woman living in his closet. What?? This story made me laugh...until I realized that it could SO happen to me.

Face it, any of us who own a home have at least one closet that we never look in, right? Mine would be the closet in the basement bedroom. The last time I looked in it was probably sometime in 2003.

You may think that's odd but it's not really. It's filled with mementos of the past, photographs, old concert t-shirts, etc. I love that stuff and because I'm a hoarder at heart (HAH), I gotta keep it. But look at it? C'mon peeps. The joy of looking at these keepsakes isn't at it's greatest unless there has been at least 10 years between visits. Am I right? Visit too often and the hoarder's heart starts to beat fast with panic. If they become "every day" items they also become disposable! Ok, maybe not for everything but if you're a hoarder, you know what I'm talking about here.

Gotta call home and have them check the closets.

Full article here.

Oh yeah and HAHs unite! Remember if it weren't for HAH's, there would be no antiques!

Tele-bits: Top Chef

2008-05-28T20:03:00.000-07:00

Warning: Spoiler Alert if you haven't watched tonight's episode!

I'm so glad about the final four, well, 3 of them at least.

The judges choices were right on and the three that have been winners since the first couple shows are on their way to the finals in Puerto Rico: Richard, Stephanie and Antonia (wait, Antonia? omg...I'm blanking on her name...must need more rum). Those three have been professional, calm and in the top of many TC competitions. Richard and Stephanie for sure. Which is why I remember THEIR names...

Not so thrilled about Lisa but I do think she is better than Spike in a few ways. One, she doesn't have a stupid name like Spike. Two, she is a woman (heheh, personal bias...want to see a woman named Top Chef). No, I won't be disappointed if Richard wins since I think he is the BEST but Stephanie equally deserves the honor.

Another great Bravo show! Anyone going to watch Shear Genius this year? I am :)

Transcending Grief

2008-05-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmm, ok, I admit this: I'm forcing grief. I'm having issues waiting for myself to "break" and feel what I know is LOCKED deep inside. I'm having all the signs - skin rash, stomach pain (acid), headache, etc. This is one of the reasons I'm at Lake Superior right now. Alone time to try and force myself to release some of this pressure.

The pressure really has some other consequences for my health - I saw the surgeon yesterday and my blood pressure was something like 146/91! This is the 4th time that I've had much higher pressure than my normal 120/80. Of course, there are many other factors that make it worse but I know the stress has pushed it past normal. My headaches have gotten a lot worse and are occurring frequently in the early evening. More later on blood pressure after I do a little research.

ANYway...There is a book I'm reading to help work on grief since losing my Mom (and Dad (2004) and Cat (2007)) and it did seem to release some of the pressure today. It is Sylvia Browne's A Journal of Love and Healing: Transcending Grief.

I used to be an avid fan of Sylvia Browne's but the last few years I felt like she lost some of her spark and maybe "psychic"/empathic/whatever abilities. Now when I see her on Montel William's show she just seems cranky and bossy with little insight. Maybe in person she's different, I don't know.

But this book that she wrote with her Daughter-in-law, Nancy Dufresne, seems to be very simple and thoughtful. Here is my favorite quote from Ms. Browne on losing a parent:

"...the realization that no matter what age we were, both of us were orphans. No one would remember what we remembered. The elders that stood as protective shields, as references to our past, and reflections of who we were and are and where we came from, are gone.

We had become the elders. This isn't by any means related to age, only the positioning of the chess pieces in this game called Life. We had been checkmated, and we had no choice but to submit and ride that dark horse down into the depths of our own tears, memories and longings."

This describes my current experiences perfectly. Alone is the word. No matter that I have all the support I could get from friends and my husband's family, I feel deeply alone.

Lake Superior

2008-05-28T18:24:00.000-07:00

Well this pic from my laptop is lame so I'll have to try again to get something better! But I am "Up North" for the week and loving the view! Lake Superior is so stunning, especially on sunny, cool days. I mostly relaxed and read today but did just break down and watch a couple videos. Tomorrow I will get out and walk and enjoy the fresh air!!

Minnesota-bits: Art-A-Whirl

2008-05-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

If you're in or near Minneapolis please check out the Northeast Minneapolis Arts Association's ART-A-WHIRL, May 16-18. Click here to find out more!

From the NEMAA website: "Art-A-Whirl is an open-studio and gallery tour of Northeast Minneapolis. It is an enticing event that calls and welcomes local and regional visitors who want to see the art being produced in NE. NEMAA is the bridge between the local and regional world and NEMAA artists. As visitors come to see the art, they also experience the NE Community."

My particular favorite, artists Angela and Jason Kallsen of Kallsen Studios are participating: "Wine tasting at Kallsen Studio
Meet artists Angela and Jason Kallsen and view their current work while sampling a variety of wines and cheeses from around the world. See Angela’s “Grapevine Series” paintings that focus on old vines and our influences on their life cycles, and view Jason’s photographs of historic and influential wineries.
Friday May 16, 5-10 pm.
Thorp Building
1618 Central Ave NE, Suite 6
612-789-9910, http://www.angelakallsen.com or http://www.jasonkallsen.com"

House

2008-05-16T17:36:00.000-07:00

The writer's strike really put a crimp in my Tele-bits reporting this Spring, just like it did everyone else's blogging about TV! But I have been so happy to have House back that I've been watching all the reruns and the new ones, just to get a good fix before Summer.

This last week BLEW ME AWAY! Did anyone see that coming with Cutthroat Bitch?? It was GENIUS. Ok, that's enough CAPS for one post...

House is a great character and a very good show. I wish they would get rid of the new suck-ups, though, and go back to the original bunch. I cared a lot more about their story progressions than I do about 13 and the two guys. And the fact that I can't remember their House-monikers should tell you something considering how much I love this show.

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

Huh. adenomyoWHAT?

2008-05-16T16:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, so during all the stuff going on with my Mom (cancer, hospice, her eventual death) last month, I also had a D&C (Dilation and Curettage) done under some sedation. I had been having some bleeding and such for over a year but figured it was more polyps. I figured this since I had a D&C 10 years ago to the SAME day that I had the 2nd one. Weird huh? I had a sonohystogram that showed at least one large polyp (they actually found several eventually).

D&C went fine, no complications. I'm still under "strict pelvic rest" until May 31st, which is annoying, but considering everything else that has been going on, that's the least of my worries.

So, today, 1 month after the D&C, my surgeon calls. She said that everything they found was benign. I had about 30 sec of relief and then she said they also found an atypical polypoid adenomyoma which is a rare growth that she hadn't seen before.

Oh. Great.

She said she consulted the gyno oncologist (like I haven't seen enough of those people with my Mom) and they said that I should have an MRI to make sure it isn't growing back and could just consider a hysterectomy if I don't plan on having any more kids. That way I don't have to worry about being tested often.

Yup, pretty darn depressed today. More after I know more. If anyone has information regarding this condition I'd love to know about it! There isn't much on the internet that I could find.

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

Grief

2008-05-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure that I want to even write this post. But if I don't do something I'll explode from grief.

After a nearly 3 year battle my Mom died from cancer on April 28, 2008. I miss her.

She was in the hospice program (at home in her apartment) for 8+ months. They said she would probably not last six months. She was very strong and extremely stubborn. One day she said "I guess I'm trying too hard to hold on". I assured her that that was not the case - she was just making the most of the time she had left.

The funeral was nice, so many friends and family came to say goodbye. A very real testament to how much she was loved. And how much I am loved. The only problem is that the service seemed so hollow to me. The minister did a fine job with what we gave him. But it didn't really speak of her strength, courage, morals, faith, love.

My Mom loved me. We were lucky. We had 9 months of "I love you" and we said it often. For the final 5 weeks that she was in a hospice facility, and before she became unresponsive, I would start my visit the same way each time. I would remove my glasses so that I could look deeper into her eyes. Sitting on the side of her hospital bed, I would lean over to hug her and kiss her. She always waited to kiss me back once I was done. We would look into each others' eyes and talk briefly about how she was feeling, how my day had gone so far and was I getting too far behind on my work. Each time was poignant and bittersweet as I saw her change daily while the brain metastases spread.

One day as we finished the ritual I honestly told her how I liked to come and see her at the end of the day. Mom said, simply, "well, it's good to be seen". She probably didn't know that I was lapping up each moment I could before she wouldn't be there any longer. I was holding on for her dear life.

Eventually, after about four weeks, Mom stopped eating or responding. She had been working hard somewhere else, talking without sound and moving her hands. If I know my Mom she was bantering with my Dad or cleaning some imaginary house. Just when the nurses thought she'd pass, she would wake up and have a great day. But now she was silent and it became less of a visit and more of a vigil.

More to be said but it will wait until another day as I process this immense loss.

Tele-bits: Been a long time!

2007-11-04T18:00:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I haven't written anything about TV lately...I mean, I've been WATCHING enough of it!

New shows that have gotten their claws into me:

Life - The main character, Charlie, has sort of a Hugh Laurie as House-like appeal. Confident but troubled. The mystery of who framed Charlie for the murder of his friend reminds me a bit of The Dead Zone but, obviously, is a little more down to earth. I don't care much about Dani yet. Not sure why but she doesn't have the zing that Charlie does.

Kid Nation - I am still surprised how much I love this show. Given the bad press it got pre-season, I was expecting it to be much more exploitive. Instead, it's a great example of how smart our kids are and how they can work things out on their own. A good lesson for any parent who over-manages our kids' time, friendships and activities.

But still, there are some rumors of complaints: http://www.tvbender.com/kidnation-is-being-investigated/

Would love to hear about your favorite shows!

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

Grape Grape Grape Goodness

2007-11-02T18:12:00.001-07:00

I just have to say that UV grape vodka is SO FREAKING GOOD! I just had a 2 hour telephone call for work. UV Vodka is making me whole again...oh and it's made in Minnesota!

Happy Friday!

Cancer-bits: Mysterious

2007-11-02T13:36:00.000-07:00

Cancer is mysterious.

It grows fast or slow one day, one week, and does double-time the next. Now that Mom isn't seeing any doctors, only hospice workers, I feel so HELPLESS and wary. We went to doctor after doctor for years, working with them very closely on her care. I'm more involved than most I think, I'm a rabid researcher. Now that I have no information to act upon...I'm wary of what's going to happen next.

Every Tuesday and Friday Mom's wonderful hospice nurse, Yvonne, pays a visit. I try to be there for at least one meeting a week, hopefully both. She spends TIME talking with us about anything we all feel like sharing. We trust her. But now that I never have any real information about what's going on in my Mom's body, all I can do is wait. Wait for the next symptom, wait for a sign that things are changing. So I'm starting to dread those visits with kind Yvonne, wondering when things will get worse.

Mom seemed to have a sort of "remission". She stopped coughing up blood and her lungs have been clear. She's having some discomfort in her legs and hips and it's getting harder and harder for her to walk. But she keeps on trying, hoping that the exercise will make her stronger. That just makes me sad since I know that the truth is so much worse.

Well, on to work...

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

J.K. Rowling: Genius

2007-10-22T15:21:00.000-07:00

As my son's friend came into the house today he was yelling "Dumbledore is GAY! My dad and I just heard it on the radio!". My son kind of looked confused, "huh??". His friend went on about how it was a "little late" to hear this news now! I was laughing to myself and just let it go... thought it was something they should discuss on their own. They decided XBOX was the thing to play and they were gone.

J.K. Rowling is a freaking genius. To casually mention that this beloved character is gay - showing our kids that someone they love and respect happens to also be gay. I think it's important lesson if handled correctly.

I hope people don't f*ck this up...but people aren't that smart actually.

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

Panic / Anxiety Disorder

2007-10-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

Someone asked on Rosie's site about how to handle going to the dentist since she has panic attacks. Oh, I know how frightening it is! A few years after my son was born I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder. You CAN live your life with this terrible "disease", I am proof of it!

Now, I will be honest and tell you that 1) I only have mild panic attacks on an extremely rare basis and I manage them with a low dose (10 mg) of Paxil and breathing exercises, and 2) the only time I have major panic attacks is when I have to have anything other than a cleaning done at the dentist.

I bet you're thinking...well great, I'm doomed. How is that supposed help? I smile as I type this because that's what I would be thinking too. I'll get back to the "dentist problem" in a bit.

Getting control over your disorder takes time and you have to give yourself that time. I saw a wonderful psychologist who taught me breathing exercises and gave me a tape to play at night when I was going to sleep. Both things were KEY to my success. I went from being afraid to leave the house or to talk to people to starting a new career and getting all the wonderful things in life that I could ask for -- lovely safe home, beautiful family, job I love.

First step is Deep Breathing. It's very similar to the breathing you do in Yoga (yoga helps immensely, do it if you can!!). I found the following helpful technique on the way to do it from Cathleen Henning Fenton on her About.com page.

http://panicdisorder.about.com/cs/shbreathing/ht/breatheproperly.htm

Begin by lying flat on your back or standing up straight. You may also sit up straight in a chair, if that is more comfortable.
Place your hand on your stomach area.
Breathe as you normally would, and notice whether your hand and stomach rise and fall, or your chest rises and falls, as you breathe.
When you are breathing properly, your chest will stay still while your stomach will rise slightly as you breathe in. When you breathe out, your chest will continue to stay still while your stomach lowers slightly.
Now, slowly breathe in through your nose on the count of five while gently pushing your hand up with your stomach.
Hold the breath for a count of five.
Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of five while gently pushing down on your stomach.
Repeat this process for five minutes.
If the process causes you to begin panicking, stop. Try again later or the next day, but do the exercise for a shorter amount of time. You may need to start with one minute per day.
Increase the length of time each day until you can do the exercise for at least five minutes, two times per day.
If you continue to practice breathing this way, you soon will be doing it naturally throughout the day.
An additional benefit will be that once you are familiar with the exercise, you may do it while experiencing anxiety or at the beginning of a panic attack, and you will feel relief.

Ms. Fenton has a lot of useful information, please check it out!

Second step for me was the relaxation tape. I listened to it at night but it could help before you go to the dentist or even listening to it with headphones WHILE you are there. I wish that I could tell you where to get the tape I used but unfortunately it was made by my doctor and he is no longer available near me. Here is one that comes very highly recommended on Amazon:

The last thing I'd like to talk about is the actual dentist appointment. I can go in and get my teeth cleaned with very little anxiety but the minute they say cavity, filling, crown, root canal, my mind and body go on very high alert! My arms are tingling (sign of a panic attack) as I think about it! But I found out some interesting things to get through it.

1) Ask your dentist if he/she uses novocaine with epinephrine - it is very common and the epinephrine is a stimulant that is almost sure to set off a panic attack. Ask for anesthetic with with no stimulant. They should have it on hand because they cannot use it on patients with heart conditions.

2) Ask whoever is working on you to keep the chair up as far as possible (so they can still see in your mouth!!) so that bits of stuff don't go close to your throat. That sets many people off, including me.

3) Use the aforementioned relaxation CD with headphones.

4) Ask for a sedative that you can take before you go in. They will send the prescription to your pharmacy. You'll have to have someone drive you but I know from experience that it helps immensely, especially during longer procedures.

I hope this helps and I wish you much success and good health!

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

Scrabblebook

2007-10-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

I read in the Wall Street Journal this weekend about an application available on Facebook called Scrabulous. You can play Scrabble with other Facebook members, as many games going on at one time as you'd like. I LOVE Scrabble! Check this out and enjoy!

Bitter

2007-10-15T17:28:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling bitter today. I went to the doctor to see if I have a hernia or at least investigate this pain on my right side. I usually love my Doc and he DID listen to me better than most docs I've had, but he kind of went on to a few other things that were concerning me, glossing over the PAIN IN MY RIGHT SIDE! ahem. So he took some various body fluids (not to get into TMI here) and sent me on my way. Now I have a bandaid on my left arm and A PAIN IN MY RIGHT SIDE.

Yup, feeling bitter.

On the positive side I also got some Ambien to try to get my sleep schedule back to what the rest of the world calls "normal". This sleeping from 4:00am - 7:00am and then from 8:30am - Noon thing ain't working. Big freaking surprise, right? 3:00am-11:00am is my favorite sleeping time. I just get tired enough at 3:00am so that I fall asleep before I meander into stupid thoughts. Now I'm going to try 11:00pm - 7:00am. Wish me luck, I'll need it.

Oh and I've warned the family if they find me cooking or going for a drive in the middle of the night they should probably stop and wake me:

"Some users have reported unexplained sleepwalking while using Ambien, and a few have reported driving, binge eating, sleep talking, and performing other daily tasks while sleeping. The sleepwalker can sometimes perform these tasks as normally as they might if they were awake. They can sometimes carry on complex conversations and respond appropriately to questions or statements so much so that the observer may believe the sleepwalker to be awake." (Wikipedia)

I have actually had a few of those things happen to me when I was in high school. I had a few freaky phone calls that I had NO memory of making or receiving. And I wasn't on ANY drugs at the time. Hmmm, maybe this isn't a good idea. Nahhhhhhh...it will be fine.

Go Go Gophers!

2007-10-14T23:22:00.000-07:00

Went to the final game of the Minnesota Gopher Hockey Ice Breaker tourney last night. Great game and the Gophs won 4 to 3. We got to sit in one of those sweet suites - the Xcel Energy Center is THE best place to see hockey. heeeeeyyyy Gophers!

p.s. What cartoon from the 1970's had that song, Go Go Gophers?

Political Bits: Ann Coulter is the Devil

2007-10-12T13:37:00.001-07:00

There is no way to describe this...you must watch it to believe it.

Me-bits: yuck

2007-10-10T23:11:00.000-07:00

Depression sucks. I've had problems on and off my whole life with depression. It's usually set off by some extreme life event. Usually a death. I know when it's there and I go get the meds I need so that I can be the person I want to be, not the one curled up on the couch all day. When my Dad died in 2004 I didn't really have time for depression. I went from 0 (mourning) to 60 (caregiver) in about 8 seconds.

I've worked darn hard to keep depression away while I'm dealing with my Mom's terminal illness and losing my beautiful loving cat Mischa. I've stayed busy and proactive in my care as well as my Mom's.

I'm afraid it's sneaking up on me here. No, I know it is. I only want to sleep, watch tv, read. But I've dealt with it for years so at least I know all it's dirty tricks. It's sitting there behind me, just waiting to mess with my chemicals and hormones. It's literally licking it's chops. It knows the signs too.

A big part of me just wants to let it in...let it grab me so I can revel in the pain. Maybe I could actually cry, something that has been mostly out of reach the past couple years. That's not practical, and that bugs me that I would even THINK such impractical, illogical thoughts. It really pisses me off. Hateful, Hideous, Horrible. My evil internal mantra is working it's way to the front of my mind. Who the hell opened the dungeon?

Depression is laughing maniacally in the background...

Me-bits - Wow, life is busy!

2007-10-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

Just sitting here and thinking about blogging, or rather, thinking that I have nothing worth blogging about today. I've kind of been in a "down cycle" the past week or two and haven't had the energy to be creative.

So I think I'll just quickly blog about life as it is right now. This second.

I'm drinking a venti non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks. It's good. Had a cinnamon chip scone with it and that was also good. One thing I wonder about is who picks the pastries for Starbucks? I know one thing, they are thin. Maybe anorexic, I don't know. But they have the most boring pastries. They used to have these WONDERFUL chocolate chunk scones. The scone part was rich and had a great vanilla flavor. Then they changed the recipe and they were terrible. So terrible that I passed on CHOCOLATE CHUNK. I started getting the cinnamon chip since they still had some flavor. They changed those next.

When it comes to food, I'm boring. I'm allergic to a bunch of stuff and I'm picky to boot. When I find something I really like I get pissed off when it's changed. When the only thing at a restaurant that I can eat (has no nuts, tomatoes, mayo, etc. - stuff that will possibly kill me) is removed from the menu, I feel harassed. I love the food I can (or will) eat.

So I want to start a "normal" food craze. No walnuts or pecans. No cheese with mold that we are supposed to like - I mean, really, how crazy is that? It's MOLD people! No tomatoes whether they are sun dried, roma, tomatillo, etc. Ok, processed tomato like you get from a jar of Prego or on a corporate pizza (think Pizza Hut) gets a pass.

Potatoes, onions, carrots, leaf lettuce, real butter AND olive oil, cheddar, american, brie, gouda, havarti, beef, chicken, salmon, pork... Things that can be heavenly spiced and cooked into tasty meals.

Top Chef - Normal Edition - Padma introduces the ingredients above and challenges the chefs to make something that doesn't have truffle oil, leeks, or anything RAW. Yeah, that's my kind of show.

Huh. I guess I did have something to say today.

Suzzy (rhymes with buzzy)

CALLING ALL GIFT GIVERS AND RECEIVERS!

2007-10-04T15:51:00.000-07:00

I've started a new blog about giving and receiving gifts.

http://gimmethebest.blogspot.com/

Please, please send me your favorite gifts, either given or received! I would love to write about them so feel free to tell me your stories. I don't care if it's smoked fish or a Mercedes, if you loved it, I'll love it. You can simply comment to this post or email me at gimmethebest(at)gmail(dot)com - note: just replace the @ and . before you send it! I write it out like that to avoid spam.

Thank you very much!

Suzzy (sounds like buzzy)

Fan-bits: Kathy Najimy

2007-10-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

Kathy Najimy Rules!

On Saturday night we attended the Human Rights Campaign Annual Gala/Dinner for Minnesota. It was a wonderful night and spectacular event. The speakers were inspiring, the formal wear beautiful, the chicken...actually really good!

The headline speaker was Kathy Najimy (her site is: http://www.kathynajimy.com/). Kathy is a comedienne and actress and has been a outspoken feminist and AIDS activist for many years. You probably know her as Olive from the Kirstie Alley show "Veronica's Closet" or Millie on the show "Numb3rs" or maybe the best yet, Peggy Hill from King of the Hill!

We were fortunate to sit at the table next to Ms. Najimy's table. I think my blood pressure spiked when I saw her sit down. Yes, I'm a big fan. I didn't watch "Veronica's Closet" for Kirstie, honey. At the end of the meal (I seriously want that chicken recipe) Kathy was announced. She gave an uplifting and inspiring speech about equality and love. She also told a story of how she wore a big bunny suit to meet Bette Midler (her idol and mine). I won't repeat it here, hopefully you'll all hear her tell it some day because it's hysterically funny.

After the program was over, people rushed to Kathy's table to have pics taken and chat with her. I was waiting and waiting for an opening and finally I did something that NO one would ever guess of me...I jumped in and introduced myself. I think I babbled something about how happy I was that she spoke at the HRC dinner and how I'd wear a bunny suit to meet her. It was pretty crazy and thankfully she didn't call security. No, she was kind (asked me to call her Kathy) and thoughtful. I told her I had won her signed King of the Hill script at the event's auction. She said she'd send more items next time.

There's my 3rd brush with fame, but definitely the most significant one. Now I think I'll go frame that script and look at my King of the Hill action figures for awhile. Ciao!

Fan-bits: Rosie: Music, Controversy and “Celebrity Detox”

2007-09-29T12:38:00.000-07:00

Wonderful article by Jane Devin and my comments on her blog.

http://janedevin.com/2007/09/28/rosie-music-controversy-and-celebrity-detox/

Jane, Your article was so heart-felt and appreciated. We certainly don’t have to agree with Rosie on everything. I’m probably one of her biggest fans and even I don’t always agree with her. It’s not about that. It’s all about her faith in humanity, the questions she’s willing to ask, the beautiful work for kids that she steadfastly supports.

Her fans do worry about her. We all see the pain and the introspection in her pictures and blog. We come to her web site to feel it, experience it with her - she allows that and that is a rare thing in celebritydom.

My hope is that she will bite the bullet, be offered, and accept a cable talk show like Bill Maher’s. I’m sure it’s difficult though, since even those networks are owned by people who might not want the truth to be explored so fully.

p.s. The site is getting a lot of hits right now as Rosie's fans are all going there. Keep trying, it will work eventually. Thanks

Tele-bits: Top Chef - The Finale is Set

2007-09-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

The five chefs have never looked more nervous...

...as they did in Le Cirque, standing in front of the venerable Sirio Maccione. Everyone from Maine to Minnesota to Montana knows about Le Cirque, even if they aren't foodies.

The dish that they served to the chefs was a sea bass wrapped in potato on a bed of melted leeks. Doesn't sound at all good to me on paper. I hate fish. But when I SAW the dish and saw the faces of the chefs as they tasted it even I would have tried a forkful.

The quickfire was my favorite so far - replicate the dish they had just tasted. A superior chef will know the ingredients from tasting a dish. From Mr. Maccione's face when he tasted them I could tell that all of them seemed to get the right flavors. But last night proved without a doubt that presentation, knife skills and classical training make a good chef into a Top Chef. The worst thing about this challenge was the abject terror in the eyes of the chefs as they had to work around the professional chefs who work at Le Cirque. They didn't exactly get a warm welcome!

Hung has gotten less obnoxious, quieter and almost human throughout the contest. He's no team player but he has gained some sort of calm confidence since the beginning of the season. It did not surprise me that he won the quickfire challenge. It also didn't surprise me that Casey came in 2nd. She is really amazing and I'm not-so-secretly-hoping she takes the whole thing!

Sara misjudged her timing on cooking the fish and served it raw (ewwwwwwwwwwww!) so hers was chosen by Mr. Maccione as the worst. Unfortunately for her this show, it became her theme.

Elimination Challenge - The chefs brightened up for their next challenge: using chicken, russet potato and onion as a base to create a meal for a panel of top instructors from a French cooking school. They seemed back to their normal slightly egotistical selves as they rushed through the market. Hung had an extra 30 minutes since he won the quickfire so he had 2.5 hours while the others had 2. They watched him and the clock as they waited on the starting line. Soon they were all cooking and it was very interesting how they all made something SO different from each other. EXTRA different was the way Brian's dish looked...green cow pie anyone? It looked so nasty.

Hung used his exceptional skills to create another exceptional dish. Casey took some lessons from cooking with her grandmother (ahhhhh) to make a kind of "faux" coq au vin. The judges thought it was "faux", as far as recipes I've found for it, it seemed pretty right on? Brian's was, as I mentioned, a green cow pie. Ok it was really shepherd's pie. I was surprised that he put sausage into the dish and the judges were also. They thought that it overpowered the chicken. But they did really like his dish, so that was great. Dale tried something that seemed too sophisticated and complicated for a two hour prep. Again he forgot something (that poor guy on the airplane is still wondering where his food went) and that really hurt his ratings. Sara's "Jamaican" dish looked very nice but the chicken was rubbery for some and raw for others (again, eewwwwwwwwwwww). They also wondered where the Jamaican spices were since it didn't seem to have any.

In the end it came down to Hung, Casey and Brian as the top three and Hung as the winner. Between Dale and Sara I'm glad that it was Sara who went home. Poor Sara. She doesn't have the skills or the palate that the others do. I'm sure she's great at cheeses (which seem to be her real love anyway) but high skill cooking isn't her forte. I bet she kicks ass in the dairy dept though.

Four go to Aspen: Hung, Casey, Dale and Brian - good luck guys!

Cancer-bits: Hospice

2007-09-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

Hospice - Wonderful Program / Total Mind-F*ck

We found out one week ago today that Mom's cancer has grown dramatically in her lungs and is now in her spleen too. The two doctors I saw that week both said "it's going fast". Hard to wrap your mind around that! What is fast? A day, a week, a year?? The oncologist thought 2 to 6 months. She guessed that within a few weeks Mom would start coughing blood and have a harder time breathing. It only took a few days. By Saturday Mom starting coughing up stuff.

I got my Mom enrolled in a home hospice program this week. On Monday, Yvonne (primary hospice nurse) and Karilyn (social worker) came out to meet us and get the paperwork signed. It was surreal, to say the least.

There was a lot of discussion about the hospice philosophy. This is from their website:

"Hospice care does not prolong the life of terminally ill patients, but helps them live with comfort and dignity, surrounded by family and friends and supported by hospice team members at the hospital or at home."

I have to say that the more they talked, the better I felt, up to a point. It's such a relief to know that twice a week someone will be coming to check on her and determine what other things she may need such as oxygen, pain meds, special equipment, etc. Because it's extremely frightening to me that I might not see a sign or a symptom and do the right thing.

They also have music and massage therapy that will come out each week and my Mom thought that would be nice. I'm always so proud of my Mom because she is open to all new possibilities and will try things. She still participates in all the activities at the apartment building (assisted living). As a matter of fact, after this meeting she kicked me out so she could go play bingo. How cool is that?

So, now to the mind-f*ck -- the nurse asked my Mom if she wanted to keep taking her vitamins and other supplements. My Mom has been a health-nut for as long as I can remember. She walked 3 miles a day, took LOADS of supplements, drank buckets of water, etc. So when they said she could stop taking those things that she depends on (mentally, at least) to stay well, it all sunk in a lot more that we were off the old path of "getting better" or "staying healthy". Mom and I were both flummoxed by the question. She couldn't decide and I wouldn't decide for her. Today Yvonne asked us about it again and we put it off again. After she left Mom said she'd take the supplements until the nurse runs out of them. I simply agreed that that was the way to do it even though I know there is no longer a reason for her to take them at all. That makes my stomach hurt to even type it...

Tele-bits: Psych!

2007-09-17T23:21:00.000-07:00

USA reups Psych
USA has picked up a 16-episode third season of its drama Psych, which revolves around a psychic cop, played by James Roday. The show debuted last year as the top-rated new show in cable and has been averaging 4.6 million viewers this summer, winning its Friday timeslot against cable competition. (Variety)

From EW - http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20057305,00.html

Note: the only problem with the above statement is that James Roday plays a "psychic cop". He is neither a cop nor a psychic. Otherwise, woohoo! More Psych!

Me-bits: Geekdom

2007-09-16T12:57:00.001-07:00

Here's the thing, I'm a geek. Girl geek. I belong to a wonderful guild on Warcraft called SELECT Geeks FROM WoW. I celebrate my geekiness and have for years and years.

Just now I was at Starbucks getting my fav hyperdrink - venti dark roast with 3 sugars. yummmm. Well I'm sure it will be yummy as soon as it cools down enough for me to drink. Damn that stuff is served hot!

Some geeky caffeine stats: Starbucks rocks my world with it's 56% more caffeine than your local 7-11 brew. http://www.click2houston.com/health/3005271/detail.html Did you know that their regular coffee has more caffeine than their espresso drinks? A 16 ounce cup of Starbucks Grande Caffe Mocha contains 116 milligrams of caffeine while a 16 ounce cup of Starbucks Grande Coffee contains 372 milligrams of caffeine. http://www.energyfiend.com/the-caffeine-database/. I sit here today with my VENTI dark roast at about 500mg of caffeine and I am a happy happy girl.

Ok, back to my original story. The sweet young barista and I talked about the weather while waiting for my brew to be ready. If you live in Minnesota then you'll understand that the weather is all important and must be discussed daily. Hourly. She said "I checked the weather on my Mac this morning and it's supposed to get near 80 this week!" I answered with some of the more usual patter about a few more swimming days before winter. But my mind kind of stopped when she said the word Mac.

I can't HELP IT! When someone says they use a Mac I kind of shudder in distaste.

Before you all try to find me and lynch me, let me explain. My first computer was a Mac. It was a 512k "fat mac" - 2nd generation.
I LOVED THIS MACHINE! My boyfriend and I were about the only people we knew with a home computer (his parents had the first version! The 128k) I could actually type my college papers at HOME without using a gallon of White-Out. We played text games like Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy by the great Douglas Adams and Infocom.

I stayed with the Mac through college until I got my first job. There I had to use a PC with black screen and orange text. I had to learn DOS and I was totally hooked. Being able to manipulate documents with some a few memorized commands, file trees, the whole works. It felt SO much more powerful! Around 1992 or 1993 we got some of the first access to the INTERNET! I worked in International Programs for the University and it was suddenly so easy to communicate with our colleagues in Japan, France, Australia, etc.! I'm sure I was one of the first secretaries to use it.

Ok this is getting long. The point of my story is this: PC = power and intelligence. MAC = artsy fartsy folksy. That has been my subconscious point of view since 1989. I don't dislike Mac users! I just bought a new iMac for my Mom and since I pay her bills online I was pleasantly surprised and impressed with the video and photograph abilities. I made a little video of us and took some photos, she thought that was pretty cool and so did I.

Firefox works great on it but actually starting Firefox takes two more steps than it should. If it's not on that bar at the bottom then you have to go into the HD to ADD it to the bar. Then and only then can you use it. Oh and it comes with this totally lame program called iWorks which also takes too much work to load.

I want to like Macs again. I just wonder when Mac will catch up on the cool factor for geeks like me?

Tele-bits: Top Chef - Down to Five

2007-09-14T11:53:00.001-07:00

As we start the show I notice that no one is weeping over Howie being gone. Just something I noticed. No, everyone is pulled out of bed by Padma as she giggles and jumps up and down and makes all the chefs get out of bed. Ohh how fun! ohh how silly! echhh

Actually I do like Padma. I think she's sweet and funny. I saw her on The View last season and both Rosie and I wanted to make her our best friend. She would have been a GREAT addition to that show. I loved her story about the scar on her arm that she doesn't bother to hide. She is proud of it! It happened in a car accident with her Mother. She put her arm out to protect her Mom and was injured.

Anyway, back to Top Chef. The only one who seemed happy to see Ms. Lakshi was CJ. He looked way too happy for early morning. CJ is adorable and so obviously has it bad for her.

I won't go into the details too heavily because I'm betting if you're reading this you watched it already. Quickfire Challenge: Make Padma breakfast. Hung (and obviously all the other chefs!) talk about how much Padma likes her booze. But only Hung used it in his smoothy and won the challenge. Steak and Eggs for a tiny woman like Padma seemed pretty dumb to me but she actually liked it. Just not as much as she liked the Grand Marnier in the smoothy! He was the winner.

The chefs were very impressive this week. To end up in a totally unfamiliar kitchen and be forced to make GOOD airline food is a crazy-hard challenge. I actually thought they all did a good job but CJ was probably the weakest link. He was unorganized and wouldn't have made it if Casey and others hadn't helped him out and he couldn't quite get the packages to hold together so they'd fit nicely in the airplane ovens. But at least he had 18 entrees, DALE.

The judges are still mean-spirited and petty. What I think is happening is that they have all good chefs this year (at least the top 8 or so) and they had to figure out things to criticize. Can't you see conferring, figuring out who to throw under the bus this week? "How can I be mean but not so mean that the audience hates me?"

Well Casey's broccolini (wtf is that?) lost it for him. He was the obvious choice given all the troubles he had this week. But he is my favorite and I'll miss him. You are the weakest link, goodbye!

Did anyone else think that Padma was going to cry when she had to tell him to pack his knives and go??

Tele-bits: Pet Peeves

2007-09-14T11:19:00.000-07:00

Did anyone else know it was going to be CJ as soon as they had that shot of him talking about how much he needed to get to New York? I need to spout off about the poor direction these reality shows are getting. WHY do the people who produce reality shows do these things:

1) stringing the participants and the audience along again and again with the "... ... ... ... after the break" (insert audience groan here).

The worst show: American Idol. Listen Seacrest, the viewers CARE about those young contestants. When the director makes you do this EVERY SINGLE SHOW you are just pissing off the people watching at home.

The best show: On the Lot. After the first painful and ridiculous time they tried the tired Idol strategy they realized how cruel it was and NEVER did it again. Making it short and filmed at the other location made it bearable to watch. Those directors chose to act like human beings and treat their contestants the same way.

2) showing us half of the next segment in the "coming up" cut to commercial or the opening. The worst show: Every reality show on cable and most on regular tv that I watch. From "Welcome to the Parker" to "Top Chef" to "Flipping Out" they all show ridiculous amounts of the show in their "coming up next" section. I don't want to know that Hung is about to go ape-shit or that Jeff Lewis is going to fire Chris "Trash Guy" Elwood again before I get to see it in it's entirety. When I watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" I DON'T want to see the startled looks on the family's faces or when Mommy falls down to the ground in freaked out ecstasy, right before the commercial. I want to see it all together, as it happened on film.

The worst of the worst: Ok this isn't really in the same category as it's a talk show and not even close to reality, but the absolute worst direction happens on "Maury" during those paternity shows. I'm NOT going to admit that I watch them...someone told me about them...um, yeah. You always know who's the babydaddy before the next segment! Woman falls to the floor or rushes off the stage with her hands on her head? Not the babydaddy. Man jumps up and points to the audience and grabs himself? Not the babydaddy. Anything else? Babydaddy.

So until the tv peeps figure this out I'll be sitting with the remote in hand, ready to fast forward as soon as I see the "Coming Up Next" message. And I won't be watching anything live. Or watching the commercials that pay for those shows.

Cancer-bits: Cancer Sucks Part III

2007-09-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

Saw Mom's oncologist today and the news was, as expected, bad. The cancer in her lungs has grown and started new growths. The largest in her lower right lobe which is 5.5 x 5.3 centimeters. It has also spread to her spleen.

The wonderful Dr. Tsai told us that she expects Mom to get much worse in the next few weeks. She thinks Mom has "a couple, probably not more than 6" months left with us.

When I picked Mom up today she has a bad cold. When I saw her on Tuesday she had a drippy nose and slightly sore throat. Today she her eyes were red and she was sneezing. She said she also had some phlegm which stopped me in my tracks. Anything with the lungs is BAD. If she gets pneumonia she might not recover from it.

Dr. Tsai listened to her lungs. Mom has diminished sounds where the large tumor is located but she didn't hear any pneumonia. I told Mom she needs to get lots of rest and get this cold under control. She said that she thought pneumonia would be "an easy way to go". Personally I think that sounds like the WORST way to go -- I have asthma and allergies and the thought of not being able to breathe terrifies me.

Mom is still trying to think of ways to "beat this thing" and that makes me so sad. I try to encourage her to think positively while still making sure she isn't doing things that would make herself worse or put her in danger. The nurse and I today reminded Mom that she is not allowed to break another hip! She has reached her surgery quota for the year. Mom thought that was pretty good advice.

Ok the hardest thing about all this is that Mom wants to talk about who will get her stuff and how will I possibly deal with it all. She wants me to start packing up her dishes and shoes!! I keep reminding her that she doesn't need to worry about it but obviously that platitude isn't helping to put her mind at ease. If I haven't mentioned this in previous blogs here it is: My mother is a control freak.

So, hospice meeting at 1:00pm on Monday.

Tele-bits: The Fall 2007 Television Premieres II

2007-09-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

Here's another version sorted by Date and Time. Enjoy!

Tele-bits: The Fall 2007 Television Premieres!

2007-09-12T00:41:00.000-07:00

I hate that there isn't a a good grid out there (that I've found at least) that organizes when the new Fall Premieres take place. I've created a small one of the shows that I think are worthy of at least checking out. If your favorite isn't on here you can email me with the info and I'll try to add it!

Tele-bits: The View and Oprah Debut

2007-09-11T00:17:00.000-07:00

Hey daytime junkies...what? you don't record the talk shows?? Well I WOULD watch them live but I have better things to do with my time than watch commercials or stupid segments. :-)

The View

Sherri Shepherd...Really? Really. The woman who doesn't believe in evolution. Really. Well I guess they won't only have Elizabeth to kick around now on the religious stuff. Since she's with child I guess I'll cut her some slack. But only a little.

Moving Joy next to Whoopi is a GREAT idea. They two really click. Joy is looking beautiful and she is more in touch with the show than she ever was in it's first 9 years. Rosie brought her out of her shell and Whoopi is going to set her free!

Oprah

Debut in NY today. Very good show and Oprah had on this BEAUTIFUL black dress that I would love to have. It was so classy. The Letterman segments were inspirational. Watching him talk about his son Harry just makes my heart sing. Such a proud Papa. One question though...are Dave and Al Franken morphing into the same person? I was shocked by the resemblance today. Maybe it's just the dry humor that I love so much.

Lisa Marie Presley sounded great on that video with her father. She admits she doesn't sing as well as he did (few can) but I thought her voice sounded divine. I always think she was meant for a career in music but she screwed it up early on with the Michael Jackson debacle and Scientology crap. Her daughter Riley was beautiful and composed. Given her mother's weird tics (she cannot sit still!) I was glad to see Riley seemed normal.

Review on Dr. Phil's debut tomorrow if I can find time to watch it!

Web-bits: WWJD (a music video)

2007-09-11T00:07:00.001-07:00

(4 out of 5 LOLs)

Fan-Bits: AAARGGGH!

2007-09-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Ok for the first time I'm on Rosie's site the same time she is (the "We're Live" sign is up) and I can't send her a message! She's on a message break. Why do I have such poor timing? Oh well, it's really frustration with a smile -- I want to say "hi" while she's live but I can't and I'm giggling at myself for being frustrated over such a silly thing.

Love ya Ro!

Me-bits: I'm So Tired

2007-09-08T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink
No, no, no

I'm so tired I don't know what to do
I'm so tired my mind is set on you
I wonder should I call you but I know what you'd do

You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
For a little peace of mind

I'm so tired, I'm feeling so upset
Although I'm so tired I'll have another cigarette
And curse Sir Walter Raleigh
He was such a stupid get

You'd say I'm putting you on
But it's no joke, it's doing me harm
You know I can't sleep, I can't stop my brain
You know it's three weeks, I'm going insane
You know I'd give you everything I've got
For a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got
For a little peace of mind
I'd give you everything I've got
For a little peace of mind

Beatles - Lennon/McCartney

When I was about 15 I slept over at a friend's house (Hi Lisa!). She played a Beatles tape all night on auto and every time I woke up this song was playing. This is what goes through my head every time I'm sleepy. Kind of annoying after 25 years but I can't make it stop!

Web-bits: The Meth Minute 39

2007-09-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

The Meth Minute 39

Internet People
Rating:(5 LOLs out of 5)

A must see for anyone who loves trolling youtube and for all of us older Internet People who have been scouting out the best in "You've got to see this!" longer than the others have been out of diapers.

http://www.channelfrederator.com/methminute39

Tele-bits: Top Chef

2007-09-06T13:30:00.000-07:00

Was it because he volunteered?

Nawww. He had to go. Howie failed numerous times in his efforts to 1) actually cook something and serve it on time, 2) cook things that wowed the judges or the tv audience, and 3) be a team player.

Top Chef has been a snoozefest this season, hasn't it? Once Howie's nemesis-turned-best-bud Joey got the axe there wasn't much entertaining gusto left in Season 3. And let's face it, now that we don't have Tre to look at, listen to, fantasi.... um, well, it hasn't been the same.

I was miffed at the judges last night. The food got good reviews from the guests, the group as a whole worked really well together, and Brian did a great job wrangling all those egos...the egos themselves actually thought he did a great job. It wasn't NEARLY the disaster they made it out to be. Ok, Howie's poo on a cracker didn't look too appetizing but I thought everything else looked pretty good! Actually, I want the recipe for the asparagus/prosciutto cigar - that looked yummy.

I'm glad Howie figured out the team player part of the equation, even if it was a little too late. But until he channels that anger and energy into some fastidious cooking he isn't going to be a great chef.

Fan-bits: JAHERO TODAY!

2007-09-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

A New JaHeRo...nothing could be finer

How fun to have a new JAHERO to watch on Rosie's blog today! I do miss those ladies every morning before The View. That show will never be as fun or as interesting as it was with Rosie. What a year it was!

I agreed with Ro, Janette and Helene today -- it's not quite the same to see JAHERO now since it's 1: not every day and 2: a little out of context since they aren't discussing the show that we all got to enjoy with them after the video blog. But still I loved every minute and hope that they are all reunited on a show SOON in the future. I would watch ANYTHING with Rosie in it but mostly I'd love to hear her views and questions about our world.

One big question that I have after watching it is what movies is Helene going to be in??? How exciting to hear about the professional twists and turns that have happened for her since May. She is a fascinating person.

If you are reading this and don't know what JAHERO is, take a look here: http://www.rosie.com/blog/sections/movies/jahero

Now I have to go write to them and find out about Helene's movies. Thanks JAHERO for feeding our addiction to YOU!

Tele-bits: Flipping Out

2007-09-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

JEFF HAS A HEART!

Who knew? After all the nastiness and OCD-i-ness (yeah, I said it, what? what?) Jeff showed his heart at the end. Granted it might have been because of the martinis but it actually looked real! And as we all know, liquor is an amazing truth serum.

The part that made me laugh when Jeff found the, um, outhouse under the house. He was so grossed out and SO didn't want to ask Elwood to clean it up. But then he did it anyway AND then bitched about Chris saying no! Jeff must be the king of justification.

But back to the doody under the house. WTF was that all about???? I'm still gagging a little thinking about it. The workers actually thinking that was an ok thing to do? Holy crap, pun intended. I would have made the contractors who hired those effin' heathens come out and clean it up.

Next week we get to see the Flipping Out Open House episode. I'm really looking forward to it - I think that Jeff and his friends/slaves are a lot funnier when they aren't working so hard to make a tv show. I read on Rosie O'Donnell's blog that some people say Flipping Out is fake and scripted. That makes me sad and I hope it isn't true but I must admit I wondered sometimes. Especially when Jeff was at his OCD-i-est. Rosie keeps talking about wanting to do lunch with him to see if he's real - oh how fun it would be to attend that tete-a-tete!

I hope that we see more Flipping Out in the future!

Me-bits - The Cat Didn't Come Back Part II

2007-09-03T15:36:00.000-07:00

Report from a Neighbor.

We heard from our neighbor today. They asked if we had found Mischa yet. Their cat came home today and they had to rush her to the vet hospital. She had been in a very big fight with something, well, probably bigger than her. Sounds like the poor cat will be ok but I'm guessing that Mischa wasn't so lucky.

The good thing is that there aren't a lot of cats in our neighborhood and probably now two more who won't be roaming.

There have been reports of coyotes in our area. We live in a very suburban area and we're surrounded on 3 sides by highway. But the 4th side is still on the wild side. From there the deer follow the "stream" through our backyard during the spring melt. I've never seen anything as big as a coyote but did drive up to a red fox in yard a few years ago. Stuff is out there.

When I heard about the neighbor's cat I felt my whole body go numb. I couldn't feel my left arm for about 3 minutes. At this point my brain and body are both on grief overload.

I sat and thought for a bit. Had breakfast and sat with my boys and read. Wanted to be near them but really didn't want to talk. I'm on the 4th book of the Dresden Files. Probably a little gory and scary for me right now but at least Harry Dresden has it worse off than me...he has the entire Vampire squad after his ass. I just have to deal with grief and duty.

After I read for a bit I decided to use some of the powerful feelings I was having. I harnessed them (taking a page from Wizard Dresden) and decided to do something constructive. I folded clothes. Doesn't sound like much, does it? Well it was empowering for me. Now I'm trading off between World of Warcraft and cleaning my office.

This too will pass.

Right?

Tele-bits: Welcome to the Parker

2007-08-31T00:23:00.001-07:00

Season finale

In what I think was the Season Finale we saw Michael Twomey get his due. Now, don't get me wrong. He seems nice and probably is a LOT of fun after a few cosmos. I'd love to have drinks with the guy. I just don't want him organizing...well...anything for me. Michael admitted that he is not detail oriented so I think we all realize now that this was NOT the job for him.

I loved this show. I mean, it's no Project Runway, but the stories that come out of the hotel industry are by far the wildest. You just can't believe the things that people do behind key-carded doors. If anyone has any they'd like to share, send them to me and I'll make a special post just for them.

It seems to me that the show is NOT coming back. We got the little "what they're doing now" bits at the end. On one hand I really want to see more. On the other hand, if all of the interesting characters are gone and we're left with the "A" list bimbos, uh, buh bye.

Cancer-bits: Part II

2007-08-31T00:22:00.000-07:00

Cancer sucks...Part II

I think you can all imagine how terrible it was to make my Mom give up her keys and stop driving. She was angry (internally mostly) at me for many many months. But she rarely showed it because she trusts me. She knows I would NEVER make her do anything unless it was for her own good and people around her. The day it happened finally was so sad. Mom was trying to get to a friend's house in a city about 25 minutes away. She was on her cell phone with her friend because she wasn't able to follow the step-by-step instructions that I had typed out for her. She put the cell phone down because she thought that friend was in the car with her, in the backseat. But when she went for more directions she couldn't hear her friend any longer and, my Mom thought, she had disappeared from the backseat! She was driving around trying to figure out where her friend had gone, thinking she would catch glimpses of her and then she would vanish again.

Now I must admit I had already been sure that Mom was heading toward losing her ability to drive. She had gotten lost a few times in our area and I had been able to talk her back home. So Mom called me, very frightened, and I was able to get her to her friend's house. But I didn't yet know about what had actually occurred in the minutes before. When she was on her way home I again directed her using Mapquest as a guide whenever she could spot street signs. I knew, without knowing the details, that it was time to have a talk.

Later that day I showed up at her condo and we sat down to talk about it. She told me what had happened and how scary it had been. We were both on the verge of tears and when I told her I'd be taking her car keys home with me that day she didn't argue. The anger about the car came shortly after but I was expecting it.

After that day she got dramatically worse. She fell many times and was scared and frustrated every day. One particular example will be with me now and forever.

I called her and asked if she wanted to come over for awhile or go out and so something together. She was very angry. "I can't leave now! Ma is sitting here and I can't leave her alone!" She was sure she had my grandmother next to her in the kitchen (she had passed away in 1999) and she was so angry that I had even suggested we leave her alone. Mom saw lots of people in the condo and had been doing so at night for months. But until this she was able to get through the day-time hours without many visits. Now that had changed. She was seeing the "shadowman" all day long.

The Shadowman was a representation of my Dad. She knew it was him but she couldn't see his face and he wouldn't talk to her. He scared her.

At this point her symptoms were so pronounced that she was unable to pass a test at her Doctor's office. The test is described by WebMD as:

Mini-Mental State ExaminationThis is a very brief test that the doctor can use to test a person's problem solving skills, attention span, counting skills and memory. It will give the doctor insight into whether there has been damage to different areas of the brain.

Mayoclinic.com describes it this way:

Mental status evaluation. These tests screen memory, problem-solving abilities, attention spans, counting skills and language. They help doctors pinpoint specific problems a person may have with cognition. For instance, doctors might test recent and long-term memory by asking: What day is it today? Or: When was World War II? Recall tests are another example. Doctors may list familiar objects, and then ask a person to repeat them immediately, and again five minutes later.

The two things that Mom had the hardest time with was math (counting down by 7's from 100) and copying a shape that was on a piece of paper. Couldn't do either, although I know lots of people in their 40's who might not be able to do that counting thing. Ya know what I mean?

Mom was finally sent to Geriatrics for some assistance. OMG...the woman was incensed when she saw we were taking her to an "old people doctor". She actually looked around to make sure no one saw her go into that part of the building. Yeah...this was going to be fun. But after that appointment we knew what we were up against...dementia. But not exactly what we thought since I was sure it was Alzheimer's.

Lewy Body Dementia. It is the second most common dementia, Alzheimer's is #1. But most people don't know anything about LBD. If you're ever interested, check out this site: http://www.lewybodydementia.org/

Cancer-bits

2007-08-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

Cancer Sucks.

Ok, I know you're saying "uh DUH Suzzy, we know that".

A year or so ago a co-worker of my husband died from cancer. She was in her early 50's and one tough lady. She had requested at her funeral that everyone wear "Cancer Sucks" buttons, so of course they did. Since my Dad died from cancer not too long ago, my son thought the button was important enough to wear around the house for awhile. Kind of a big F you to cancer.

If you've read any of my other posts you know that my Mom is dying from metastatic melanoma. Today we saw her primary doctor for the first time since her cancer spread.

I've been taking Mom to the doctor since about 2001/2002. Then it was for depression and some other vague symptoms that no one could connect to anything. In 2002/2003 Mom had a few episodes of passing out and she was falling a LOT. I took her to the doctor and after months of tests they still couldn't figure out what was wrong. She was "healthy as a horse" (that is such a stupid saying...do people say that in other parts of the country??) with the heart and bones of a much younger woman. But she was confused a lot and growing more confused everyday.

While we were trying to figure all this out my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had a very successful surgery but died a few months later from the first course of chemo. Have I mentioned that cancer sucks? My Mom had been getting worse and worse but Dad's sudden death just completely changed her. Suddenly she couldn't find her way home while driving. Then it was more falls and more confusion.

It became clear that Mom couldn't live alone any longer and I had to make her stop driving. You can imagine how all that went over with her.

This post is long enough...I'll finish the story next time.

Tele-bits: Grey's Anatomy

2007-08-29T23:01:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people who haven't been watching Grey's Anatomy. I know, I know...but there haven't been enough television watching hours in the day lately. The good news is that I joined Netflix and I've been catching up with McDreamy, Merideth and the entire good-looking cast.

Now I understand what the hype is all about! I just finished disc 5 of 6 in Season 2 and I'm going going to be watching the mailbox verrry hopefully the rest of this week. Thank goodness that Netflix tells me when I have a new dvd on the way.

Unfortunately Season 4 isn't out on dvd yet so I'll have to avoid the show when Season 5 starts up here soon. Can't be seeing ahead, that would make me crazy. It's bad enough that I know Addison has her own show coming out!

Me-bits: The Cat Didn't Come Back

2007-08-29T13:49:00.001-07:00

That damn cat...Well Mischa has been missing for a week and a half now. I've made my calls to the Animal Humane Society and the city animal shelters. Nada...nothing...nope. Thought we had a match at the shelter - everything was right except the eyes. Mischa has blue eyes and this cat did not.

When we bought Mischa at the Humane Society 6 years ago he had an ID microchip inserted. He wouldn't wear a collar (would go to great lengths to get it off and I was afraid he'd hurt himself) so I hoped that the chip would help. Honestly I have to admit that the fact he hasn't shown up makes us pretty sure that something bad has happened to him. He's totally devoted to us, checks in multiple times a day when he's outside, loves nothing more than sitting with us on the deck. Just thinking of him reminds me of his soft siamese fur and how good it felt to snuggle up to him while he purred away contentedly.

So now I sit and try to figure out how to deal with this latest loss. I pray constantly he'll turn up anyway, even though I don't think he will. I've begged God to give us a break during an already stress-filled time of our lives.

Tele-bits

2007-08-28T16:18:00.000-07:00

The 4400 - This is a great show!

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

Please don't blame me if you read below this sentence and you didn't want to know what happened this past week. 'nuff said.

The 4400 has really found its footing this season. Now that we know how "The Marked" take over their hosts it's downright scary to see that fake smile on Tom's face. Seriously, this guy is a good actor. It's as if I'm watching a brand new character.

I was really disappointed that Isabelle's mother Lily wasn't back for good. The relationship between her and Richard was very sweet to watch. I hope Richard isn't gone for good since fake Tom has imprisoned him to hold it over Isabelle. I have to say that Sean and Kyle are really the only ones turning out to be true "good guys" on this show. I love that Kyle didn't kill Kevin but instead brought him back to Promise City. Kidnapped him, yeah, but at least he's alive.

It's hard to determine the good vs. evil on The 4400 and that makes it good tv!

Parental-bits

2007-08-28T13:49:00.001-07:00

We made it through orientation! What a ZOO. 300+ students (approx half of the class) and their families jostling around each other trying to find lockers, classrooms, etc. It was at least 85 degrees in there and extremely humid. By the end of the night the papers I was hold had fallen over limp and damp. I think my face was the color of a ripe apple as I fanned myself with the the wilted paper.

Our son was nervous and quiet as he organized his locker by his schedule -- the system will last about half a day -- and got his picture taken. He was worried about not being able to get his locker open so we made him do it a number of times so he could relax a little. Poor kid. He's already had at least one nightmare about Junior High. As tough as being an adult can sometimes be I would hate to have to go back to that fearful uncertainty of being a pre-teen.

Web-bits

2007-08-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

Genealogy:

This site is ridiculously addictive. You won't be able to STOP adding family members to this genealogy site. Makes creating a family tree easy and fun. You can also invite people to add to your tree by password that Geni sends them. Only you can see your personal family try unless you invite others. http://www.geni.com

This is a new one that I just was turned onto today by TechCrunch.com. I haven't looked into it too much but one thing I love is a feature where you can determine if your child looks more like you his/her other parent simply by uploading pics of each person. Evidently our son looks 16% more like me (I knew it!!) http://www.myheritage.com
For the facial recognition/look-a-like meter, go here: http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/look-alike-meter-upload.php

Parental-bits

2007-08-26T18:59:00.001-07:00

UGH! - Yeah, ugh. Just spent two hours prepping my son for 7th grade orientation tomorrow. We checked off the mile-long supplies list. I never had this many supplies "back in the day" - I was happy for a box of 12 Crayolas!

At least now that he's in junior high we don't have the extra page of classroom "support" supplies. Kleenex (sorry, that's trademarked...tissue), wet naps, general class art supplies, wax paper, plastic wrap, plastic bags, on and on and... Don't get me wrong, I don't want teachers to have to pay out of their own pockets for that stuff. That sh*t ain't right. Our school system gets MILLIONS from our large school district (700 students per year) and we keep giving them more. I support each and every one of those special budget votes for education and I will continue to do so even after my kid graduates. But after all that they still hit us up for more money and more supplies ALL YEAR LONG!

OH! The best one is the "hit your entire family, neighborhood, and pets up" to buy magazines or gift wrap or candy. That's the one that makes me crazy. They now have it all online so your loved ones, you know, the ones who TRULY care about your kid, can give money directly to his/her campaign over the internet. I never bother anyone with these. I quietly buy something smallish for our family and that's it. Don't want son to be school pariah because his parents don't contribute anything.

In my opinion these giving programs are really hard on the kids - If your child sells the most loot they get a FREE GIFT! Yeah...a bracelet or a whistle. But they taunt the kids with great pics of hot boomboxes (does anyone even BUY boomboxes any more?!!) and super cool prizes if they just try a litttttle harder and sell a litttttle more. I'm sorry, it's wrong. W-R-O-N-G

There's my parental rant for today, August 26, 2007.

Web-bits

2007-08-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

Website o' the day:

http://www.woot.com - Great deals - a new one every night at midnight (CST). Today's was a

TiVo Series 2 80 Hour Digital Video Recorder with $170 Rebate

for $129.99

Every deal ships for $5.00, no matter what it is!

Fan-bits: Rosie and Ross - a hilarious team

2007-08-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

The funniest talky blog I ever saw was the Rosie O'Donnell and Ross the Intern on an r family cruise! Just this last week Rosie did a talky blog while she called him (he didn't answer) and then Ross did one trying to get back to her. It doesn't SOUND funny but Ross' reaction to "freaking Rosie" calling him was priceless.

Check it out here: http://www.rosie.com/blog/2007/08/23/calling-ross/

and here:

http://blog.nbc.com/ross_blog/ (go down the page a couple entries to see it)

oooo dinner ready, back blogging later! - Suzzy

Tele-bits

2007-08-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

DVR JOY! There are a few summer shows that make me smile and two of them were waiting for me on my DVR last night: Burn Notice and Welcome to the Parker!!!!

Welcome to the Parker is such a fabulous show and it lived up to my expectations again this week. Those "A" list girls working their "magic" (yup, kind of sarcastic quotes there) on the poor Spa girl. If they're not careful they will end up like that BIATCH Peggy from the Desert Cancer group. Whoa. That's nasty on a whole new level. Ok, Ok, I have to give her this though...Michael Twomey is a major schmuck-up. He overslept until NOON on one of the most important days of his career? No way. I think he is either ON drugs or needs to be!

Burn Notice - This is James Bond, Matt Helm (Dean Martin's wonderful spy character), The Saint (original tv version, of course, with Roger Moore) and Get Smart all rolled up into one great spy - Michael Westen (Weston?)! It's cute, dangerous, funny, sexy...watch it people.
More on Burn Notice here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burn_Notice_%28TV_series%29

I think that Fiona is going to win Michael over eventually but of course he can only concentrate on who burned him and, now, who wants him dead. Great show.

The other shows that heat up my TV this summer are Psych (love this quirky detective stuff and the chemistry between Gus, Shawn and Henry is incredible. More on Psych here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psych

Flipping Out - WOW this real estate flipper is NUTS! He must pay those people incredibly well because I don't know anyone who would stay with him for one day. That's what makes the show for me - who will snap first and *SMACK* that self-satisfied look off Jeff's face? I'm thinking Trash Guy. The Ex/business partner is next in line.

The most amazing part is when Jeff thought that his contractor should just hire people to cover those things in his life that were getting the way of JEFF being satisfied. Like being with his kids. I kid you not.

More on Flipping Out here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flipping_Out

Me-bits: The Meltdown

2007-08-23T22:49:00.000-07:00

Listen, this is the blog of a pre-hysterical woman. You're the first to see me just before I go off the deep-end. Or would that be the last? Whatever. I'm losing it.

You'd think I'd be happy in my lovely home with my wonderful son and husband. I work in my basement for God's sake! I don't even have a commute! But there is nastiness lurking all around me and about me.

I have three big problems: malts, cancer and cats.

Malts - I started seeing a counselor to help with my weight issues. Issues...damn that's a polite way to put it, huh? I'm freaking fat! Fat and getting fatter as my depression drives me to eat like Rush Limbaugh running for his Oxy fix. Seems the longer I go to therapy the more I eat. Is it supposed to work that way? I think not but I have no clue how to stop it as things in my life spiral out of control. Stress = Malts in my f*cked up world.

Cancer - My Mom has it and it's killing her. Melanoma out of control as it builds multiplexes in her lungs. I've been taking care of her for years, even since before my Dad died in 2004 of, you guessed it, cancer. Well, he died of chemotherapy...more on that another time. Mom is in a very nice assisted living place and is doing ok for now. But I have to face the fact that every day we get very much closer to losing her. And every day I get a little more hysterical.

Cats - My beautiful cat Mischa (1 of 3) is our only outdoor cat. He has a feral streak that just made it cruel to keep him inside (I tell myself that to make myself feel better. Believe me, it doesn't work one damn bit)! He is fixed and just loves the catnip patch by the gazebo as much as he loves visiting our neighbors. Oh, and bringing home small dead critters for me to praise.

Anyway, Mischa is missing. He's never been away for more than two nights -- EVER -- in his 6 years. He's been gone since Sunday night and we are worried sick. Tears in my eyes even as I type this rant. But must hold myself together because my son is still awake. Hate to have him see me in this pre-hysterical mode AND crying. Would scare him to death.

So there are my three demons: malts, cancer and cats (well, just "cat" I guess). I'll end this now and add some duct tape. You know...to keep it together. (Damn, that sucked) Ok, later.

Favorite web site of the day: Steepandcheap.com - great gear and low auction-like prices. It rules.